that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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