you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
