none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
