I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
