the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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