U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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