So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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