you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
