in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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