Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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