i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
