I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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