i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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