We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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