Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Dignity is for republicans.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
