i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
