the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
