My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
