great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
