I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
