So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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