But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize