girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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