Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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