I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
