You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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