I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I understand Curling. That high.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
