This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
