Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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