She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
