I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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