the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
