you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
