it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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