She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
