Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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