I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
