wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
