she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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