Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
