So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
