I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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