Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize