and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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