ya dads aren't the best wingmen
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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