He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
