I'm going to jail i love you
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize