I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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