I swear she didn't look like that last week.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
