I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
