yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
