ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
and she was petting her beer can
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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