he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
