She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
