It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize