If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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