I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize