dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
