why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
is that a dick in a sweater?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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