1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Can i not drive my cunt home
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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